There was a fight in my class today. At the beginning of my third period class, Rachelle was getting heated at Joe, sitting a few desks away. At first I thought they were just messing around, but then I realized it was serious, so I went and stood in between them, right next to Rachelle's desk. I asked her if she needed to go out into the hall and cool down. She wouldn't respond to me, and instead kept getting more and more worked up yelling at Joe. So I told her she needed to go into the hall and I started to pull her out of her desk by her arm. I nodded to Peter (my mentor teacher) to come help me. We both took an arm and started to get her moving. Now, Rachelle is pretty tough girl, and Joe is as tall as me and twice as wide across. As we pushed Rachelle toward the door, she and Joe are screaming at each other and lunging toward one another. Joe's up out of his desk pushing me out of the way to get to Rachelle. So I let Peter try to get Rachelle out the door, while I try in utter futility to stop Joe from advancing. I had my forearm across his chest and was trying to plant my legs behind me to press against him, but I couldn't get in the right position. I kept repeating, "Joe, calm down it's not worth it." Joe pushed me right up against the door where Peter was holding Rachelle, and they're almost in each other's faces with me and Peter in between when BAM, Rachelle throws a punch over my shoulder that lands square in Joe's face, snapping his head back. Joe was stunned for a second, then looked fucking PISSED and charged out the door after Rachelle, who Peter had forcefully dragged down the hall toward the office. At that point I was scared to try to stop Joe anymore--plus I had to stay with the class. Joe stormed out into the hallway, where I'm sure he was met by security or the school disciplinarian, Ms. Drummer.

Why the fuck should I have to see a student get punched in the face in my classroom? NOT FAIR. THIS KIND OF THING SHOULD NOT HAPPEN. It makes me angry and scared and sad and frustrated and confused and guilty, so many things, but above all just sick. And I do feel responsible, in a non-specific way--it was my class. I feel ashamed, in the way that a parent might feel ashsamed if they fall victim to a crime when their child is present. If students aren't going to learn English, if they aren't going to succeed academically, my classroom should at the VERY FUCKING LEAST be a place where they can be safe and not get punched in the face and their head snapped back. I feel stupid, tricked, inadequate. I feel like I owe them an apology.

Okay, I just REALLY don't like violence. I do feel like I handled it very well. If I hadn't gone over and stood between Rachelle and Joe at the beginning, it might have broken out right in the middle of class.

Thunderstorm outside right now. I can see the blue flashes of light through my blinds. We'll see how things go tomorrow.