Worst Night Ever

(First of all I want to apologize for the silliness and stupidity of my last few posts. I wasn't sleeping and I get kind of loopy when that happens.)

All right: last night. So yesterday at school my mentor teacher had told me that he wasn't going to be in school today. He suggested that I teach the class--there would still be a sub in the room, but I would lead class. I agreed, even though I'm still fucking recovering from final papers. Last night at like ten o'clock I was up writing out a lesson plan, and I was so tired and just wanted to go to bed. It's like, I thought I was done with work for a little bit, but now I had ANOTHER thing to do. Here I am sitting at the table, pissed off and working:



I'm practically falling asleep, I have a headache, I have to wake up at 5:30, and I still have no idea what to teach. Couldn't get much worse, right? That's what I thought. Then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this GIANT FUCKING EVIL BAT COMES CRASHING THROUGH THE WALL NEXT TO MY HEAD.



Of course I FREAK OUT and run away, and I'm running all around the kitchen trying to save my life and I'm SCREAMING and this bat is like SHREIKING and CLAWING ME and SHOOTING LAZERS out of its fucking RED EYES and all I can think is OH MY GOD THIS IS HOW I'M GOING TO DIE.

Shit is starting on fire and exploding all around me! I'm holding the bat back as best I can with a broom. I'm circling the perimeter, dodging the lazers and flying debris, and I'm bloody and blackened--when all of a sudden I slip on water leaking out of a busted pipe under our sink. I fall on the ground in the corner. The broom goes skidding across the floor.

So there I am: on the ground, helpless, no weapon, surrounded by flames. A goner. Dead meat.

The bat screeches and starts to fly at me with fangs bared. I yell my final words: "I love you mom!" Suddenly, at the last second I realize: I'm sitting right next to the knife drawer! I wait until the bat is just about to plunge its claws into my neck when I WHIRL AROUND, GRAB A KNIFE, and SLAY THE BAT WITH EXTREME JUSTICE!!

I pass out.

***************

I wake up a few hours later and throw the bat carcass out the window onto one of the tow trucks that park behind our apartment. I'm throbbing and bloody and missing and arm and I'm thinking to myself, "I need to get help."

I know what you're saying at this point: there's no way things could get worse after that.

I go over to Adam's room and open the door, and my jaw drops.

He's in bed.

With someone else.



I stumble backwards, leaving the door to his room open. I turn, dazed, reeling. I think I hear Adam get up and call my name, but I walk into my room and lock the door. My heart feels like it's been ripped from my chest by chains. I sit down on my bed and begin to weep.