Man, the last couple of days at CRLS have been tumultuous. On the one hand, there have been some really awesome things going on: J.J. finally turning in a writing assignment and participating in discussions (yes!), Jonathan showing his sparkling intelligence, Betty showing what a rock star she is, Cabe's *awesome* poem "The Spooky Man," Cindy showing how good of a writer she is.
On the other hand, though, both yesterday and today something happened that really affected me and troubled me afterward.
Yesterday, at the end of class, everyone was supposed to be doing silent reading from the novel we're starting, "The Samurai's Garden," by Gail Tsukiyama. I noticed that Tasha was talking with Jenny and Amanda, so I went over to the three of them and told them they needed to be silent and do their reading. Tasha told me she couldn't read in class, so I said that's fine, but you still need to be silent so that other people can read, so just put your head down or something. Tasha did this, but then after a minute I remembered how Tasha had been asking me questions abuot a poem of hers I'd assessed, so I went back over to her and suggested that she try to re-work the poem if she wanted.
She opened her binder to the poem and looked at the rubric for my comments. The exchange went something like this:
TASHA: Why did you change my grade on this part ["descriptive language"] from a B to a C?
ME: Well, at first when I read your poem I thought there were some really strong parts, but then I noticed that Jessica had a lot of the same language and images in her poem [Jessica and Tasha always sit together]. And, like, for example, your simile, "She's like a doorknob because everyone gets a turn," I've heard that before, and it was also in Jessica's poem, so I thought it was kind of cliche. We're trying to push you to come up with your own similes.
TASHA: Well I didn't get it from anybody.
ME: Well, I'm just saying I've heard it before, and it was in Jessica's poem, so that makes it less powerful.
TASHA: Yeah, but, I mean....
ME: Well, yeah, what do you think. I mean, you can definitely disagree with me.
TASHA: Well, I don't know. Whatever. It's not that bad of a grade.
ME: No, but I want you to tell me if you think I'm wrong.
TASHA: Well I'm trying, but you're not listening.
ME: [dumbfounded] Okay... I'm sorry. But then you need to keep talking.
TASHA: [Silence]
That was pretty much it. Man, if there's one thing I was not ready to hear it was "you're not listening to me." That hit hard. I wanted to snag Tasha and talk to her after class, but I didn't. I don't know what I would have said. It particularly hurt because it was Tasha, too. She's very quietly shown that she wants to succeed, but I think she might still be skeptical of us as teachers. And I've made it a point to push her and take an interest in her, cause she is really smart, and she just seems timid for some reason. She lacks self-confidence in the classroom; she doesn't know how to push back. Also, she was the first one to bring up race last week in class when we were talking about people getting treated differently if they're different. Tasha is black, and when Mr. Andrews was asking about examples of people getting less respect because they're different, she kind of sheepishly offered, "Black people." I wonder if this a really important issue for her in school, and if so, I wonder how she feels about four out of the five teachers in our group being white.
Okay, that took kind of a while to write. I need to go grab dinner and then go to my first guitar lesson. I'm taking lessons with this instructor from Berklee College of Music, Chris Buono. He seems like a cool guy who knows his stuff, and I'm super stoked to be taking lessons again. I'm looking forward to playing some open mics and trying to get shows in the area.
I'll write about the second of my classroom experiences (the one that happened today) later tonight.
On the other hand, though, both yesterday and today something happened that really affected me and troubled me afterward.
Yesterday, at the end of class, everyone was supposed to be doing silent reading from the novel we're starting, "The Samurai's Garden," by Gail Tsukiyama. I noticed that Tasha was talking with Jenny and Amanda, so I went over to the three of them and told them they needed to be silent and do their reading. Tasha told me she couldn't read in class, so I said that's fine, but you still need to be silent so that other people can read, so just put your head down or something. Tasha did this, but then after a minute I remembered how Tasha had been asking me questions abuot a poem of hers I'd assessed, so I went back over to her and suggested that she try to re-work the poem if she wanted.
She opened her binder to the poem and looked at the rubric for my comments. The exchange went something like this:
TASHA: Why did you change my grade on this part ["descriptive language"] from a B to a C?
ME: Well, at first when I read your poem I thought there were some really strong parts, but then I noticed that Jessica had a lot of the same language and images in her poem [Jessica and Tasha always sit together]. And, like, for example, your simile, "She's like a doorknob because everyone gets a turn," I've heard that before, and it was also in Jessica's poem, so I thought it was kind of cliche. We're trying to push you to come up with your own similes.
TASHA: Well I didn't get it from anybody.
ME: Well, I'm just saying I've heard it before, and it was in Jessica's poem, so that makes it less powerful.
TASHA: Yeah, but, I mean....
ME: Well, yeah, what do you think. I mean, you can definitely disagree with me.
TASHA: Well, I don't know. Whatever. It's not that bad of a grade.
ME: No, but I want you to tell me if you think I'm wrong.
TASHA: Well I'm trying, but you're not listening.
ME: [dumbfounded] Okay... I'm sorry. But then you need to keep talking.
TASHA: [Silence]
That was pretty much it. Man, if there's one thing I was not ready to hear it was "you're not listening to me." That hit hard. I wanted to snag Tasha and talk to her after class, but I didn't. I don't know what I would have said. It particularly hurt because it was Tasha, too. She's very quietly shown that she wants to succeed, but I think she might still be skeptical of us as teachers. And I've made it a point to push her and take an interest in her, cause she is really smart, and she just seems timid for some reason. She lacks self-confidence in the classroom; she doesn't know how to push back. Also, she was the first one to bring up race last week in class when we were talking about people getting treated differently if they're different. Tasha is black, and when Mr. Andrews was asking about examples of people getting less respect because they're different, she kind of sheepishly offered, "Black people." I wonder if this a really important issue for her in school, and if so, I wonder how she feels about four out of the five teachers in our group being white.
Okay, that took kind of a while to write. I need to go grab dinner and then go to my first guitar lesson. I'm taking lessons with this instructor from Berklee College of Music, Chris Buono. He seems like a cool guy who knows his stuff, and I'm super stoked to be taking lessons again. I'm looking forward to playing some open mics and trying to get shows in the area.
I'll write about the second of my classroom experiences (the one that happened today) later tonight.
posted by DB at 6:37 PM
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